Wow. So sorry about that. One tiny little coding error was causing the entire site to completely overload the server it resides on. Late, late last night I had to take the site down so I could fix it. Took me a little bit to nail down the bug, but I found it. Things are now back to normal, and the database is unharmed. Quite embarrassing, I must say, but it's all fine now.
On with the show!